"Heaven, once attained, will work backwards..."

“...That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, ‘No future bliss can make up for it,’ not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory…”

The above dialogue is an excerpt from C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce, which I’ve been reading recently (my roommate Jasmine would say this is “soooooo Christian” of me). In this passage, a Spirit character is instructing the protagonist, who is on a journey through the afterlife, on the fluidity of time once eternity is reached. He is essentially saying that once one comes in contact Heaven, it will overtake all the pain and ugliness that occurred before it---that Heaven is so expansive, powerful, beautiful, and bright that it can point everything else toward it, regardless of the order in which it all happened. Thus, the pain that one experienced prior to tasting this ultimate peace and bliss won’t actually feel like pain anymore, because it all pointed and led to Heaven on some level.

This idea strikes me as utterly beautiful. I love, love, love the idea of light overtaking the darkness with even brighter light. I find hope that our present sorrows, however massive they feel, will someday lack any dark feelings or tones. Sometimes I even feel this way now, when I look at old emails, pictures, or personal musings from times when I felt pain. While I’m not ignoring the hurt they caused or saying that I’m in a state of absolute Heaven right now, seeing how painful things can build and lead to something so much better and beautiful certainly evokes a sense of joy.

You’ve heard me talk about the process and pain of renovations so far. No, I’m not quite calling it all agony. I know that compared to 99.9999% of the problems on God’s Earth, ours is quite small. We are blessed to have each other and an amazing place to live, and I hope that I don’t communicate otherwise. But, the state of living in constant disarray has definitely placed us out of our comfort zones and put us in contact with feelings that contrast Heaven.

Now that the third floor is so close to done, I can relate to how a sense of Heaven can virtually reverse previous pains. Objectively, I think the “9+ people, 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen, 1 sink” phase” is the most grueling stage of 30cent renovations yet. Never before has this house had so many people living in it, sharing so little space and so few resources. Yet it doesn’t feel like it has been the most challenging stage so far, at least not for me. On the surface, it really should be. It’s somewhat silly to invite friends over when your bathroom is made of tarp and particleboard, and when your kitchen sink is also your bathroom sink. I grew up with only one sibling, and waiting for him in the bathroom usually resulted in screaming matches. None of us at 30cent have resorted to that form of communication yet.

We can, and frequently do laugh, at the absurdity of it all. But I don’t think many of us see it as agony. Personally, I think it’s because we’ve been given such a beautiful, concrete visualization of what we are working toward. The nearly complete third floor has given us a glimpse of “heaven.” As a result, we can see the purpose of the frustrations that come as we are transforming the other floors, taking most of the pain and hurt out of the process. We are all excited to have spaces as beautiful as the third floor, and I believe it has helped us more joyfully experience the cramped space in the meantime. Heaven has worked its way backwards.

It’s almost fun in a way now. Many of us even joke (lament, actually) that once we all have our own beautiful and functional bathrooms, kitchens, and common areas, we won’t be together as much. I hope the community, laughter, and solidarity we’re experiencing now will continue and only grow in magnitude. I think it will. I think Heaven will continue to work its way into our present state, and I pray that it transforms not just how we deal with sharing stuff with each other, but how we treat everyone else in our lives. My next post should be a bit more concrete and descriptive on what I think it means for Heaven to work its way into our actions…