Treasuring the Present

"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present"

My mom always used to say this in a sing-songy voice. I'm not sure what prompted it (or who originally said this), but my guess is that she used it to sooth me when I was either beating myself up over this past, or stressing about the future---two things that I still do far more often than I should.

I was away from 30Cent this past weekend for a wedding at home in Connecticut (an absolutely gorgeous one, I might add), but I learned a lot that I want to apply to my community here.

The wedding was for two friends who I have known since high school, throughout the entirety of their relationship. I saw a few other close friends at this wedding, as well as my actual family and people who are like family, just not blood-related. In spending time with people who were once a big part of my almost everyday life, I felt overwhelmed with feelings of joy and thankfulness at the relationships God has given me. I also felt a bit wistful, and almost this sense of loss at the fact that I live in another state now and that these amazing people are no longer part of my daily life. I feel like the time I once had with them was not enough, and that I did not fully appreciate it while I had it.

I wondered how I could have not treasured and savored something I now recognize as so special. But then, I examined how I go about measuring my time and the things I want in my life. I don't value the present. I look at the right now only as meaningful because it's a means to an end, a way to get me somewhere further out, which I think will surely be better than what I am experiencing now. And once I'm in that elusive place, I'm still looking forward to the nex thing.

Think about it. Most of us live each day of the week like this. No one appreciates Monday. Tuesday is good, not intrinsically, but because it has inched us slightly closer to the weekend. And so on and so forth with each day. Sure, we savor Saturday, but then come Sunday, we lament and wonder why the weekend has gone by so fast, when all we've been doing is wishing for the days to go by faster. We do this on a broader scale, too. I sit back and wonder how high school and college could have gone by so quickly, but when I honestly examine my mentality throughout those time periods, I realize I was consumed with the idea of getting done with it all. I laughed when people told me it was the best time of my life, because all I wanted to do was get out and be in the 'real world,' where there was no more homework (but plenty of bills, budgeting responsibilities, and grown-up duties, I'm now discovering). And I let petty conflicts and selfish wants get in the way of what really mattered then.

Readers, in some ways I think I've done a disservice to myself in how I've looked at life at 30Cent. I started out talking about how much better it will be in the future, and how the hope of that is getting us through the now. Yes, so much of our house is about what is to come, and what life will be like when the renovations are finished. But 30Cent is real right now. We're the same people living here as those who will be here when the renovations are complete. We have the same heart and the same mission and we should live as such. I don't want my present to be completely overtaken by my excitement for what is in the future.

God's kingdom is both here and in the future. No, we cannot bank on everything around us right now to satisfy and complete us, as there are certainly much greater things to come in eternity. But God and goodness and beauty are not absent now either, and we should not live as if they are. C.S. Lewis said it well: "Where, except in the present, can the Eternal be met?"

All of us want to be here in the long term, but in reality, none of us even knows what tomorrow brings. It's a sobering thought, but: "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14). In years, it is likely that this community will not be exactly as it is now. At the point, I don't want to look at this time period and ask myself why it went by so fast and why I didn't appreciate it when I had it. I don't want petty inconsequential things to cause me to wish this time will fly by.

So yes, it might sound crazy to revel in and and rejoice at the chaos that surrounds us, in the noise of power tools and not being able to find anything and not knowing when it will all be complete. But beyond that, I certainly think we can take joy in each other in the here and now. We can find hope and encouragement in the fact that were are able to live in a less-than-ideal environment and not rip each other's heads off. We can savor the times we all crowd around one TV in one living room to watch a show together, or when we carve out a time each week to share a meal, or when we have impromptu Ke$ha dance parties in the living room.

All of those things are heavenly, as is simply getting to know each other and encouraging each other through our struggles and fears. I want others to come in and experience our community in this same way right now, and not just when I think our living is perfect many months from now. It is all heavenly, despite the hectic backdrop it is taking place in, and I want to treasure it all.